The Battle ...

I am realizing every single day now, how unbelievably phenomenal our Father is. One of those really cool things He is doing is completing a process that began three years ago. At that time it was a simple prophetic word given to me in a small group. Now, I’m not one to simply trust every word that is spoken over me. When I was in Bible College I had a person prophesy over me in a wacky voice (in a charismatic bible college you get all kinds) and I immediately called my Mom to ask how you know if it’s God or not, feeling strongly that it wasn’t but also guilty at the same time… her response is one I live by yet today --- “When it comes to pass you know it was from God.” Enlightening, eh? : ) Mum is nothing if not practical!

Anyway, this was a rather innocuous (at the time) prophecy in the fall of 2006, about the Lord having me in a period of learning some big lessons with three years being the time frame for completion of that work, and then the beginning of something bigger in my life. I resonated with it as well and felt a peace about what was said. There were some other aspects to this prophecy but this was the basic gist of it – some of those things you just have to hold close to your heart and wait and see what the Lord will do. I’ve sat with this over the past three years and had times of anticipation, times of anger, times of confusion … you know, just life happening and me, as usual, being impatient!

Then last year at our National Conference God placed me beside one of our camp leaders on the bus ride back from Epcot – in hindsight I realized this was a God thing as there was only ONE seat left on the bus and I was the only person in line not “with” someone else waiting to board … yeah, my fun people ditched me when I had to help direct others for a bit : ) … but the Lord was at work and placed me next to an older man who had a “one year” prophecy for me about the completion that the Lord was bringing to my life (I did not know this man but did know/trust his brother). I was floored at the time because when I looked at the timeline for the prophecy from 2006 and what this person shared, they coincided timing-wise and NO WAY that those two people had any contact or knowledge of what the Lord was doing --- but it was HIS way of encouraging me to stay the path … chills up and down my spine BIG TIME!

And then it happened … the battle … it was huge, I was unprepared, and I was taken out BIG TIME!

In late January/early February of this year some pretty major hopes/dreams that I had begun to open up to were lost to me. I had placed a lot of hope in them and the lack of fruition simply devastated me … and so I killed my heart – I felt I had no other choice. The message was that there’s no point hoping for the future when the same thing happens over and over and over and over and over … you get the picture, and I definitely got it that time. You see, there has been this same pattern in my life ever since I was a child, and the enemy does this to ALL of us. We all have this message or theme to our lives that just never seems to change … it is reinforced over and over again by our circumstances. Think about it – what is it that has haunted you for your entire life? In your childhood and high school; academically; in sports; in relationships or not having them; in your family or lack of family; in career opportunities that happened or didn’t; in friendships or lack of them… what is that “theme” for your life that just seems to always be the same? For me it was simply “you will never be the chosen one … you will never be good enough … you will always be on the outside.” Simple, straightforward and very believable, which is just the way the enemy likes it … and I have spent my life making agreements with those messages. Believing the lie and agreeing with it insulates you against the truth and you become ineffectual at best.

Yesterday on my way home in the car I was listening to the second CD in John Eldredge’s series, “The Four Streams,” on spiritual warfare, and he prompted the listener to really think about what your theme is, and walks you through all these times of life and asks, “What is it? What is that one thing that is constantly being reinforced about who you are, through your circumstances?” … and it HIT me so hard … and I got MAD… I’ve never been so mad at the enemy in my life and I spent a good chunk of time telling him off right then and there… seriously telling him off! Ticked does not even begin to describe it! This morning on the way in to work I went back to the beginning that track and listened to it all over again, just to reinforce my freedom! I don’t believe I will ever forget this lesson … and how I approach the rest of my life can now be very different.

You see, it is a battle we live in every moment of every day and if the enemy can take us out or decommission us, we will never be the men and women of God that we were created to be. There IS a plan for each of us and the Lord wants to be so intimately involved in our stories that we walk with him moment by moment and look to Him for all our answers … HE IS LIFE!

I have a choice to make: will I continue to “take” life for myself in any way that I can, or will I embrace the Lord and allow Him to be that LIFE for me? To be that life IN me … I am bound on a different path and His hand will rest upon my head and envelope my life this day and the next … there truly is JOY in the journey in spite though the process is often hard…